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HelenF
Posts: 24
Joined: Tue Aug 23, 2011 1:06 pm

Re: update on mum

Postby HelenF » Wed Dec 07, 2011 3:33 pm

Hi Louie

I am glad you are both hanging in there, it sounds like you are having some quality time with your Mum. My Dad never mentioned seeing people, but I actually think it is lovely whether she knows them or not. I would like to think these are angels that will look after you Mum when the time is right.

Take Care
Helen

rachelqt
Posts: 175
Joined: Tue Sep 20, 2011 9:18 am

Re: update on mum

Postby rachelqt » Wed Dec 07, 2011 10:56 pm

Hi Louie,
You have such a wonderful relationship with your mum, and you seem to cherish every moment with her. Im sure you will have no regrets when its your mums time. I like what Helen has to say about these people she is seeing as her angels :)
Hugs...Rachel xx

CFF
Posts: 56
Joined: Fri Apr 22, 2011 9:38 am

Re: update on mum

Postby CFF » Fri Dec 09, 2011 2:06 pm

My dad also had hallucinations in the weeks before he died but didn't find them distressing - I thought it was linked to the Oramorph or the Ketamine. It is the most surreal, awful, hardest thing in the world to talk to your loved one about them 'going' but I believed with my dad, and still believe, that doing this makes it 'ok' - well as 'ok' as it's going to be' for them to accept and 'go'. And it's no wonder that you go home and sob. I did the same thing too and it's what gets you through it.

You are doing brilliantly and your mum and dad must be so proud of you. Thinking of you lots.

xx

louiepc
Posts: 238
Joined: Wed Aug 10, 2011 10:38 pm

Re: update on mum

Postby louiepc » Fri Dec 09, 2011 10:17 pm

Terrible day today, a nurse spent a few hours with me and dad. Mum has days/week now, my poor dad was like a little boy, I'm holding his hand whilst we are trying to take this horrendous news on board. We were asked about resuscitation and that completely floored my dad, he couldn't make the decision and asked me to. I'm doing things I never dreamt I would have to do.
I have cried so much tonight.

Louie xxx

lynbo
Posts: 269
Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2010 6:23 pm

Re: update on mum

Postby lynbo » Sat Dec 10, 2011 1:09 am

Oh Louie
How can anyone take in this kind of news? It's just awful, and I can't imagine how you were feeling at the time, but it sounds like you held it together for your dad, then have had your moment in private.
No words I say will make things better, but I'm thinking of you all, and... Hope you can keep strong to cherish each day and take each day as it comes
Xxxxxx

Nardobd
Posts: 479
Joined: Sat Feb 14, 2009 6:25 pm

Re: update on mum

Postby Nardobd » Sat Dec 10, 2011 8:29 am

Louie I'm stuck for words but I wanted you to know that I'm sending thoughts and much love to you all.

Nicki

rachelqt
Posts: 175
Joined: Tue Sep 20, 2011 9:18 am

Re: update on mum

Postby rachelqt » Sat Dec 10, 2011 7:48 pm

Louie, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your Dad. I suppose the only thing now is to make your lovely mum comfortable and tell her you love her. You are a blessing to your mum, as she is to you. That decision im sure is heart wrenching. I just wish there was something I could do for you.
Love Rachel xx

laura
Posts: 385
Joined: Thu Jul 01, 2010 1:53 pm

Re: update on mum

Postby laura » Sun Dec 11, 2011 10:28 pm

oh louie,, so sorry to read of your devastating news, what can i say? my love to you and your dad, you have such a difficult task, you will find the strength but you must feel torn in so many directions, try and take care of yourself dear. love laura xx

HelenF
Posts: 24
Joined: Tue Aug 23, 2011 1:06 pm

Re: update on mum

Postby HelenF » Mon Dec 12, 2011 5:30 pm

Your Mum and Dad must be so proud to have a daughter like you. It is a dreadful time, I know and you and your family are often in my thoughts.

Bless you ,
Helen x

louiepc
Posts: 238
Joined: Wed Aug 10, 2011 10:38 pm

Re: update on mum

Postby louiepc » Wed Dec 14, 2011 10:07 pm

Hi

Mum was put on some Fentynl patches yesterday, and we are not sure whether it was these that did this or whether it was something else.

In the earlier hours of this morning, Mum was crying and having nightmares/hallucinations, according to Dad she was petrified, saying "they are going to get her". He honestly thought she was dying before his eyes.

Then this is the strange bit, she seemed to have a second wind, my brother visited, she hasn't seen him for 2 weeks, and yes she is extremely weak, and struggling with speaking and getting very confused now, but she managed to eat a little and drank 2 glasses of milk.

I am afraid that she hung on to see my brother and now that she has, she will go quite rapidly. It's awful everytime the phone goes, my heart is in my mouth.

Look after yourself everyone, take care and I will be in touch soon.

Louie xxx

rachelqt
Posts: 175
Joined: Tue Sep 20, 2011 9:18 am

Re: update on mum

Postby rachelqt » Wed Dec 14, 2011 10:40 pm

Aww Louie, I hope your ok? Such a hard time. Were all here for you and please do keep us updated as your always in our thoughts. Thinking of you xx

Nardobd
Posts: 479
Joined: Sat Feb 14, 2009 6:25 pm

Re: update on mum

Postby Nardobd » Thu Dec 15, 2011 6:27 pm

Oh Louie I'm so sorry that your Mum had such a bad night. Fentynl can cause severe side effects and "drugs.com" offers the following advice:

"Seek medical attention right away if any of these SEVERE side effects occur when using Fentanyl:
Severe allergic reactions (rash; hives; difficulty breathing; tightness in the chest; swelling of the mouth, face, lips, or tongue); blurred vision; fainting; hallucinations; muscle rigidity; seizures; severe or persistent dizziness, headache, or light-headedness; slow or irregular heartbeat; slow or shallow breathing; trouble breathing; weakness."

Perhaps you ought to phone Mum's consultant and let him know?

I hope you're wrong about Mum hanging on to see your brother. You know where we are if you need us.

Love
Nicki

louiepc
Posts: 238
Joined: Wed Aug 10, 2011 10:38 pm

Re: update on mum

Postby louiepc » Thu Dec 15, 2011 7:49 pm

Thanks Nicky and Rachel

I checked the info that was in the medicine box and saw that it said about hallucinations etc, we have told the nurses, but mum is still on the patches. In fact, I don't know if it was the patches, because she hasn't had anymore adverse reactions like she did.

I saw her today, and voice is stronger, not so much of a whisper now, still extremely confused, and its heart breaking listening to such an intelligent, articulate lady, stumble over whether she wants mash for tea. She calls herself stupid, which I deny vehemently to her, but she is obviously aware that she cannot communicate properly and it is so frustrating for her.

She had a catheter fitted today, so hopefully that is one less pressure for her to worry about. We are at the moment debating whether to take her to hospital on Monday. She is due to be drained, and I am honestly thinking that it would be to traumatic for her to get to hospital, have the procedure done, possibly stay over night, for what? She is going down hill at a rate of knots, I think the kindest thing for mum is to let her stay at home and be comfortable. She desparetely does not want to die in hospital, and I have an awful feeling that if she is still here, she may not come out of hospital and we have gone against her wishes.

Terrible decisions to make for the person you love so much.

I got the outfits for my children for her funeral today - surreal really, considering she is still here, but I saw them, know that they will have to have them in the not too distant future, so I got them, one less worry. Got a dress for myself, but I'm not sure, think I will re-think that.

Thank you everyone who is thinking of my beautiful Mum, please pray that when the time comes, its a peaceful end and no pain or suffering involved.

God bless you all.

Love Louie xxxx

ali
Posts: 90
Joined: Sat Jun 25, 2011 9:22 am

Re: update on mum

Postby ali » Thu Dec 15, 2011 10:07 pm

hi keep strong, you are doing the right thing to get organised even though it feels so awful.
i posted loads from end of june and got loads of support,have not posted much recently,but always keep looking at boards.
I know at end of june there were less than 600 members on here and now much much higher.
my mum died june 12th after feeling unwell from beginning april (prior to this very fit 78 yr old golfing ,driving etc.) Then this most awful diagnosis--was only in hospital for 10 days.
Brought her home (thankfully ) on the wed and she went to sleep forever --peacefully on the sunday evening-actually very quick as did not suffer jaundiced,ascites etc------diagnosed End Stage but weird minimal symptoms (or so i think--sore back definately )

Anyway crap time of year--getting a few xmas cards for her that some old friends did not hear--so upsetting
Actually ,some days cannot believe it has all happened xx take care---it is truely awful

ma2houra
Posts: 22
Joined: Mon Dec 12, 2011 11:50 am

Re: update on mum

Postby ma2houra » Fri Dec 16, 2011 11:01 am

Thinking of you and you're mum from across the world.