A forum for advanced pancreatic cancer issues

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mints
Posts: 32
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 7:43 pm

Stage 4 pc 3-6months to live

Postby mints » Sat Jul 09, 2011 3:54 pm

My husband (50) has just been given 3-6 months to live??? after reading this web site I can relate to many of the experiences on it.
I feel angry that his G.P. did not pick up on it earlier, when 3-4 months prior to diagnosis,september 2010 he presented his doctor with..excessive weight loss,pain under his right rib,diarrhea and even yellowing in his eyes,the four basic symptoms.
He had various other tests, colonoscopy, x rays, ultra sound for gall stones, but not a C.T. scan.When all tests came back negative,he was given a presciption of co-codalmol for the pain and told he had I.B.S. Grrrrr
A&E diagnosed it, when he turned up with very dark urine.
Ten days later with stent in place he was diagnosed with stage 3 inopperable pc.
He took part in the Scalop clinical trial, but had so many problems with the stent he missed about 3/4 sessions, but did 6 weeks radiotherapy.
The trial was supposed to prolong his life, but in his case he was dogged with other problems,he was alergic to Creon and even a substitute enzyme made his throat swell up.
His energy levels are up and down with constsant diarrhea,steroids have helped but make him eat more which creates digestive problems.
I am absolutely heartbroken to watch the love of my life deteriate in this way, Cancer is a cruel disease at the best of times, but this....
I have had tears streaming down my face reading some of the accounts of what I may yet have to face.
He has the option of some more chemo, but has chosen not to have it.
I am trying to prepare myself for what's to come, but I don't think we ever can.

Dark days

pamela
Posts: 27
Joined: Sun Aug 08, 2010 9:52 am

Re: Stage 4 pc 3-6months to live

Postby pamela » Sun Jul 10, 2011 3:17 pm

I am so sorry to hear about your husband.My advice is to spend those special moments together,even if it's watching a film you both enjoy or listening to some music.It's not easy i know,but try and enjoy some quality time together.

Are you getting support from the macmillan nurses or district nurses as well as the oncologist.

Thinking of you.

Pamx

mints
Posts: 32
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 7:43 pm

Re: Stage 4 pc 3-6months to live

Postby mints » Sun Jul 10, 2011 8:09 pm

Thank you pam, it's amazing how things like listening to music, or watching a film together become more special than ever.
We do have good support in district nurses and mc millan nurses.

Nardobd
Posts: 479
Joined: Sat Feb 14, 2009 6:25 pm

Re: Stage 4 pc 3-6months to live

Postby Nardobd » Mon Jul 11, 2011 6:16 pm

Hello Mints and welcome to the forums...although I could wish to "meet" you under better circumstances.

I'm glad to see you have a good support system in place. As Pamela said, it's important to spend some quality time together. The only other advice I have is to treat hubby "normally" (well as much as you can). My hubby hates to be treated as though he's different because he has cancer and we try to ignore it as much as possible!

It's important to remember that your hubby might not suffer all, or any, of the same effects as any of the stories you read. In the 29 months since my hubby got his diagnosis (also stage 3 inoperable) the one thing I've learnt is that the disease is as individual as the person. One person has abdominal pain, another doesn't etc.

No, you can't prepare yourself...not only because it involves imagining yourself in an untenable situation but because you don't know what's around the corner. I was always a "planner" but this disease has taught me to take each day and make the most of it because now I can't plan.

Sending thoughts your way and I hope you post again soon and let us know how you and hubby are.

Kind regards
Nicki

Ellie
Posts: 302
Joined: Thu Sep 04, 2008 11:03 pm

Re: Stage 4 pc 3-6months to live

Postby Ellie » Tue Jul 12, 2011 10:33 pm

Hi Mints

I, too, am so very sorry to read about your husband. I have been there and lost my own husband 7 weeks ago. He was given 6-12 months and lived another 2 years, so please don't give up. I know the whole thing is a total shock and a nightmare and it is much easier said than done, but cherish every day you have together. You will find a hidden strength to help you cope with things. Life is just so utterly unfair, isn't it?

All I can say is that we are here, on this forum, to try and offer support for when you are struggling with it all. Someone will be here with a kind word of support, so do keep in touch. My heart goes out to you.

Love
Ellie
xx

mints
Posts: 32
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 7:43 pm

Re: Stage 4 pc 3-6months to live

Postby mints » Wed Jul 13, 2011 7:36 am

Thank you to both Nicki and Ellie,

Your replies have made me feel a bit more positive about his life span, it's such a difficult one to judge.
I find myself feeeling so angry at this disease, not just at cancer, but this particular cancer.The statistics are so low

mints
Posts: 32
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 7:43 pm

Re: Stage 4 pc 3-6months to live

Postby mints » Sun Jul 17, 2011 10:32 am

I am almost lost for words this morning.
My hubby sleeps more than he is awake, even if he does get up for a couple of hours, he nods in the chair.
I watch his breathing, to me it's irregular.
He keeps appologising for his confusion when he asks what day it is or when did so and so visit, I just say"don't worry ask away"
His mc millan nurse comes for a regular visit tomorrow ( his 51st birthday)
I expect she'll confirm whats in my head and in my heart...

LizzyD
Posts: 14
Joined: Sun Jun 19, 2011 6:55 pm

Re: Stage 4 pc 3-6months to live

Postby LizzyD » Sun Jul 17, 2011 1:24 pm

I am so sad and sorry to hear of your husband's plight. Last October my husband was given 6-8 months to live. He refused chemotherapy as the extension was only 10-12 months with the chemo. He has prostate cancer as well as PC and the prostate cancer has spread to his bladder and bones. We are now in month 9 and he is still getting along reasonably. Don't despair. No-one can tell you how long your loved one has. My mantra is 'one day at a time'. I just deal with crises as they come along and try to enjoy the time we have left together. Love a lot;talk a lot and enjoy the good days.

Love Lizzy.

lynbo
Posts: 269
Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2010 6:23 pm

Re: Stage 4 pc 3-6months to live

Postby lynbo » Sun Jul 17, 2011 7:21 pm

Hi,
I agree with Lizzy, my husband slept a lot, so they reduced some of his tablets, they also caused him to hallucinate, just take a day at a time, we really shouldn't have to be in these awful positions to love, talk, and treat everyday a blessing xxx

Nardobd
Posts: 479
Joined: Sat Feb 14, 2009 6:25 pm

Re: Stage 4 pc 3-6months to live

Postby Nardobd » Sun Jul 17, 2011 8:39 pm

Hi Mints

Lizzy and Lynbo are right, sometimes the meds have more side-effects than others. The difficulty is in getting the balance right.

Everytime I watch Ted sleep I'm sure he's about to 'pop his clogs' any minute...He intends to keep proving me wrong!

I hope the Macmillan nurse's opinion is much more optimistic than what you seem to think. Let us know either way.

Love

Nicki

mints
Posts: 32
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 7:43 pm

Re: Stage 4 pc 3-6months to live

Postby mints » Tue Jul 19, 2011 2:46 pm

Thank you for everyone your kind thoughts and wishes.
I was having a bit of a bad day the other day,crying quite a bit.
You try to stay strong for so long then something goes wrong and suddenly everything is wrong.
I went to collect his meds from the pharmacy,once again, they didn't have all of them,not the end of the world ,but...
We had just increased his pain relief so that could be why he is so sleepy.
His macmillan nurse said she or the district nurses would flag up when they feel things are getting worse.
At the same time they were talking about"being prepared"with equiptment in place,do not resus,and morphine injections with pump.
I'm looking forward to going out with a friend this afternoon for a "posh coffee" and a chat, I suspect I'll be doing all the talking,but any outlet we have helps.
Thank you all.

mints
Posts: 32
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 7:43 pm

Re: Stage 4 pc 3-6months to live

Postby mints » Sat Jul 23, 2011 9:52 am

My husband collapsed and died early yesterday evening.
The tumour was quite close to a main artery, so maybe something ruptured, don't know!
I popped out to the shops, was gone for half an hour, came back to find him collapsed on the floor, called the paramedics, but it was already too late
I am struggleing with the fact he was alone, in my head we were trying to prepare for a gradual deteriation, although it was explained to us this could also happen.
I've called a few of his freinds and heard grown men cry, he was so loved by so many people.
Any advice on how to get through this please,it just hurts so much...

ali
Posts: 90
Joined: Sat Jun 25, 2011 9:22 am

Re: Stage 4 pc 3-6months to live

Postby ali » Sat Jul 23, 2011 10:24 am

Hello
i am so sorry for you but your darling husband is no longer suffering.
i have just posted to Endee and was browsing the boards when i read of your distress.
you have done all you could recently and he knew that
thinking of you at this awful time
Helen xx

LizzyD
Posts: 14
Joined: Sun Jun 19, 2011 6:55 pm

Re: Stage 4 pc 3-6months to live

Postby LizzyD » Sat Jul 23, 2011 6:24 pm

I am so sorry to hear that your husband has died so suddenly. I can only imagine how shocked and devastated you and your family must be. Please don't dwell on the fact that you were out when he collapsed. We can't stay with our loved ones 24 hours a day and there is probably little you could have done had you been in. The suffering this disease causes is very severe and in some cases over a very long time, so maybe it is better that your loved one is not suffering any longer. God bless and comfort you over this very distressing time,

Much love from Lizzy.

lynbo
Posts: 269
Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2010 6:23 pm

Re: Stage 4 pc 3-6months to live

Postby lynbo » Sun Jul 24, 2011 12:41 am

Mints
My thoughts and prayers are with you my lovely, I know it probably won't make you feel better but I always question myself on what happened the day Andy passed, and there is no answer, you done everything you could and more.
Xxxxxx