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Justamo
Posts: 465
Joined: Sun Sep 04, 2016 10:38 pm

Re: Ascites

Postby Justamo » Mon Nov 14, 2016 11:49 am

Re: Business Manager

What about senna pods in her tea ? Or Ex-Lax in her hot chocolate ?

Just a thought . . . .

sandraW
Posts: 1033
Joined: Thu Oct 31, 2013 5:38 pm

Re: Ascites

Postby sandraW » Mon Nov 14, 2016 5:27 pm

Justamo, what are you like, give her a double dose that's what I say lol
V I hope Phoebe has a great time, and that its not too hard for you take care love sandrax xx

Marmalade

Re: Ascites

Postby Marmalade » Mon Nov 14, 2016 6:38 pm

Absolutely with you on the feeling dreadful yesterday V, serious weepathon for me again. It comes out of nowhere and simply will not stop. To be honest I can't be bothered trying to stop it. Hymns and particularly the words mean a lot to me ( I was a chorister for many years) and when O valiant hearts came up I was lost. All the weeping yesterday has given me a thunderous headache so I am popping paracetamol and, very unusually for me, a glass of sherry.

The sherry is in aid of my dear friend and elderly neighbour who died yesterday evening, (like I said, it was a horrible day) she enjoyed rather more gin and sherry than was good for her but then she did live to 93 so it can't have done her that much harm! The only good thing about yesterday was that I did see her. I was told that she was in a coma but she opened her eyes for me and we had a cuddle and said farewell so today I am toasting her with her favourite tipple and as my daughter says, "if you are going to dirty a glass…"

This manager woman needs taking aside and when your blood is up I think you are just the person to do it. It's not an acceptable way to communicate. I always enjoyed upward appraisals and consider it a very valuable exercise for all managers to have their subordinates appraise them. Of course I soon put a stop to it when I was in charge hahaha. Just think that this lady provides a nice focus for your anger on bad days :)

Now, what to do with you while Phoebe is away? Sounds like you could do with a DIY party, that way you get company and your shelves put up. Go and stay with a friend or get them round for a meal and sleep over. Do something different so you are not fretting all the time. Yes, finish the bear, how is he coming along? Most of all don't be lonely, we are all hanging around feeling a bit useless and will be here if you want us, and even if you don't.

Big loves darling V,

M xxxx

Veema
Posts: 503
Joined: Mon Feb 02, 2015 5:35 pm

Re: Ascites

Postby Veema » Mon Nov 14, 2016 8:59 pm

It's next week she's away...I've just taken her and bought her a new computer...her laptop was so slow and old...I gave the lads some money and ordered myself a new car, so she deserved something...at least she's tidying her desk now, so every cloud has a silver lining and all that.

Bear is at the point where the joints need to go in, but the joints seem to be too big for it, but I've took the pattern off a kit bear a friend had and the joints were part of the kit so must be the right size...also think I'll have to finish the holes the joints go through so they don't fray? I don't like the eyes with the kit either, so need to get some others.

So sorry to hear about your neighbour Marmalade...I might have a sherry in her honour...I'm partial to a sherry.

Vx

Dandygal76
Posts: 754
Joined: Sat Mar 12, 2016 9:49 am

Re: Ascites

Postby Dandygal76 » Wed Nov 16, 2016 11:44 am

Veema, it is hard when they go away isn't it but we know it is good for them and phoebe will probably enjoy stepping away from it all. I have not had either of mine come back from a trip unhappy but I think it is a boy thing when they come back wearing the same clothes! (I have checked with other parents.. mine are not the only ones)

I am sorry Phoebe had a break down in emotions but I am sure it will not be the last time. Everything you write about her just tells us what an amazing lovely child she is and it was bound to happen. Life is rotten at times but life must (and will) go on. And going on the trip is part of her journey and you finding some other things to occupy your mind is part of yours. It sucks but the week will be gone before you know it and onward you will go.

You say about sitting on your own and hating it... have you looked at hobbies or courses beyond making bears? Something that gets you out of the house and with people. Your local Council should have some adult continuing education courses that range from pottery through to physics (and your local college). Perhaps there is something for you among that. I have been not only doing the couch to 5k (yes still more couch but let's not dwell) but there are some posh cookery courses in MK that I am about to dive into I hope. It is sort of nice now the kids are getting older to be able to do more of these things. I know your life plan was horribly quelled but perhaps dipping your toes into new things may give a different sense of purpose for you. You know I am an opinionated soul so just bat me away if I am annoying.

I think sorting out Christmas is another whole new ball game here for everyone on different fronts but yes, it must be sorted for phoebe. So many, like you, have to deal with that first Christmas without our love ones and so many wondering if it will be the last with ours. But the show must go on.

My partners mum died of cancer yesterday. How could cancer never have touched my life and now it is just bloody everywhere.

As for the business manager.. there are just a lot of not very nice people in the world. I am sure she was probably like this before but the feelings are exacerbated under the circumstances. Are you an LA school... perhaps raise a grievance?

Stay strong lovely...

Veema
Posts: 503
Joined: Mon Feb 02, 2015 5:35 pm

Re: Ascites

Postby Veema » Wed Nov 16, 2016 6:12 pm

I used to do pottery classes with my mum...our local college has scaled back on recreational courses as they don't get funding anymore, so the courses are too expensive. I couldn't do it anyway as can't leave Phoebe...I've loads of craft projects on the go, but have little interest in anything at the minute...can't even follow a TV programme! I've been invited to the Ladies Circle craft evening, but just don't want to be around people I don't know, so think I'll give it a miss...I just want to be at home.

So sorry about your partners mum DG...I think the whole world seems to have cancer...it's everywhere. My Auntie started her chemo this week, but the GP receptionist annoyed her at the mention of Macmillan getting involved...I just hope she makes it to Christmas or it will be a nightmare.

Vx

Marmalade

Re: Ascites

Postby Marmalade » Wed Nov 16, 2016 7:10 pm

Nothing wrong with home V, it's where I feel least vulnerable too. DG is however right about going out and about a bit and doing new things, maybe just one new thing might be a start when you are ready.

This week has been awful, I don't know if it was the remembrance thing or just everything catching up and I know exactly what you mean about not wanting to go out and socialise, the slightest pressure sends me into a spin. We are just mourning, treading water while we recover and it will take as long as it takes.

I try and get lost in family history stuff which I have been doing for 20 years, ours and other peoples. It's a diversion but not very social so, when I am stronger I am thinking of volunteering at our local theatre (very small) as they always seem to want people to sell programmes or collect tickets or man the bar or tea stall. Only a few productions a year and all ages are involved. The big advantage is that they don't know me so we can talk about something other than the usual…

Love to you beautiful V xxx

Justamo
Posts: 465
Joined: Sun Sep 04, 2016 10:38 pm

Re: Ascites

Postby Justamo » Wed Nov 16, 2016 9:34 pm

V's thread brings me down to earth with a bang. It's a reminder of why I am on this forum in the first place. I daresay it was carefully timed, but the Cancer Awareness Week and the Remembrance Ceremonies all coming at the same time are a bit much for me to handle.

Try Googling the Thomas Hood poem 'November'. It just about sums it all up.

BUT - once the days lengthen again, after what will be a very difficult Christmas, things may look up a little for you V. If they don't, ask for help. If stuffing a Teddy floats your boat, embrace it. If you want to try something new, do it. I did an OU short course on Law. Loved it, and passed well. There might be something on the OU syllabus you'd like to try. The only reason I'm not taking it further is that it's expensive, and it was a toss up between OU or Gym Membership, couldn't do both.

Pigging cancer is like a plague now. I was at the funeral of a 22 year old on Saturday. That really shakes your faith

Take care V, we share your sadness.
Love, Mo

Veema
Posts: 503
Joined: Mon Feb 02, 2015 5:35 pm

Re: Ascites

Postby Veema » Wed Nov 16, 2016 10:11 pm

Nah...I don't want to do any more studying...I have more qualifications than you can shake a stick at...HND in Building Studies, degree in Quantity Surveying, City & Guilds AutoCAD, City & Guilds Photography, Cake Decorating levels 1, 2 & 3, Supporting Teaching & Learning levels 2 & 3, various recreational stuff, advanced ceramics...blah blah blah amongst the standard O and A levels.

I'm fine really...I've never been one for going out, it was always about family for us...I like messing around on my computer, doing a bit of crochet, that sort of stuff. I've felt a lot better today and Phoebe has been happier...she had a friend for tea tonight and quite proudly showed the girl her dad in the urn...ha ha...she's excited about going away for the week, I really hope she'll be OK...one of the other TAs is her group leader and he says he'll text me every night to let me know how she is and he says she can ring me if she wants to.

Vx

Marmalade

Re: Ascites

Postby Marmalade » Sat Nov 19, 2016 12:54 am

V, I just saw that you crotchet, I have seen a crotchet reindeer in a shop window and fell in love with it, it makes me laugh because it's sitting and looks ever so slightly drunk (I was going to put another word but thought I may get edited) anyway, I went in only to find its a kit and I don't crochet!!!! Do you fancy it? Might keep you from fretting about your baby.

So pleased you are feeling better, ups and downs eh?

Love ya, M xx

Veema
Posts: 503
Joined: Mon Feb 02, 2015 5:35 pm

Re: Ascites

Postby Veema » Sat Nov 19, 2016 2:19 pm

My mum bought me a crochet dragon for my birthday (I like dragons) so have to do that yet...I've also got a schnauzer blanket to do...I've no motivation at all, but thanks anyway.

Marmalade

Re: Ascites

Postby Marmalade » Sat Nov 19, 2016 7:46 pm

Darling V, I was not asking to jiffy you up, I know that doing anything is an effort and motivating yourself is a full time job. I guess in am just hoping ton create a diversion.

Everything can wait until you are ready. I love gardening but have gone off it and have just been watching all the tender plants keel over and die, just can't face clearing up. I know I must crack on and function but extras are just going to wait.

I hope you can think of some small things to get you through until your baby comes back.

Much love m xxxx

Veema
Posts: 503
Joined: Mon Feb 02, 2015 5:35 pm

Re: Ascites

Postby Veema » Sat Nov 19, 2016 8:20 pm

I'm on a christmas shopping mission. She's been to a party this afternoon, so managed to get in town and get a few things...hopefully I can get most of it done whilst she's away...or could if I had any idea what to get her!!!

To be honest I need chivvying up...I've become a right lazy mare...the house is a tip, I've got an ironing pile like Mount Everest and I actually cleaned the en-suite at 11.50pm last night because I was so fed up of looking at the mould in the shower!

We've got a day off football tomorrow, so am going to make some in-roads into the cleaning.

Marmalade

Re: Ascites

Postby Marmalade » Sat Nov 19, 2016 9:17 pm

Sounds like a plan! Cleaning can be therapeutic especially when you go from really slutty to clean haha. I told you before, get some contract cleaners in while you are out shopping and send the ironing out. You may never have to see the cleaners again so who cares what they think, although I think that losing your husband is an acceptable reason for the chaos. My daughters house is a pit until the cleaners arrive once a fortnight. She refuses to spend her time off cleaning. She has no shame and I envy her.


If you do get any inspiration for Christmas gifts do share, my head is full of cotton wool and refusing to come up with anything.

M x

Dandygal76
Posts: 754
Joined: Sat Mar 12, 2016 9:49 am

Re: Ascites

Postby Dandygal76 » Sun Nov 20, 2016 1:42 pm

Thanks for that Mo... I looked up the poem and I think I will go back to bed now!

I always make the mistake on here to think I will respond to the quick things and sit down later and reply to my friends. Then the kids get in the way and life and my non response is not due to my not reading... just because I want to give a proper response.

Veema, you need to do whatever makes you 'happy' and I hope you are all packed for Phoebe and that she is looking forward to tomorrow. What I would give to be that age again. It is a blessing and a curse to have your adorable daughter in this situation. A curse for the obvious reasons but a blessing that I am sure it will make both of you closer than you could ever have imagined and also that it is such a wonderful age to have to focus your time on.

Think to Friday (as I am assuming that is when you pick her up from school) and all the chitter chatter and loveliness she will bring home to you (and I will assume some really tacky present). Life is sh"t at times but you have so much to look forward to around everything that has gone on. Phoebe will make life go on. She is both your legacy.

I know you treated yourself to a car but if life is chaos how about a spring clean... I did it early in the year when everything got on top of me around dad. £150 and someone came in from a professional company and sorted my whole house back to normal... including ironing. I took the kids to the pictures! Hahahaha. It was lovely. x