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How much longer?


Samelia

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Hi everyone- this is my first post but have been reading previous posts for about 2 weeks now.

Unfortunately my family and I were shocked at the news that my dad has advanced pancreatic cancer that has already spread to his liver. There were no treatments available as it was too progressed and aggressive.

The drs in the hospital said they estimated he only had a few months to live: this was three weeks ago.


Already my lovely dad has become bed ridden, weighs less than 7 stone, is hardly eating anything and his eyes are bright yellow. In the last few days we have been giving him oramorph as he said he was having some discomfort at night.

He seems to be deteriorating day by day now.

Today he was falling asleep in between sentences and talking about random things that made no sense.


As a family we only have a district nurse who comes in once daily to administer an anti-coagulant injection.


I just don't know how much longer he can go on for. His dignity is now faltering. He has also begun to cough a lot with mucus.


I know everyone is different but as a family we haven't been told anything else since his diagnosis in hospital hence why I have found some posts comforting. We don't know how far down the line we are. We feel as though he has been discharged and left to die.

It may sound harsh but I don't want my dad to suffer like this anymore.

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Sorry to hear your news, this forum has so uch support. Do you have any mcmillan nurses that can visit. If not call the support team here. It seems lots of people have such differing symptoms. big hugs.X

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Sorry to hear about your dad. I can understand how you feel abandoned. You need to get your GP on the case, get a McMillan nurse and get some of your questions answered.


If you dad has yellow eyes it would indicate he is jaundiced and he may be more uncomfortable from itching and this needs sorting out.


You should not have to feel alone, demand some action today, and good advice to ring one of the nurses here for help also.


Best of luck

Julia

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I am so sorry to hear this. First thing I might have wanted was a second opinion as many people can get treatment with advanced pancreatic cancer, such as chemo or maybe a stent to relieve the jaundice. You don't say what age your dad is or his previous level of fitness but that can be a factor as to what treatment if any is offered. The way you describe your dad now, I would not have said he has very long left, certainly not months. And of course it does not sound harsh to say you don't want your dad to suffer any more. I would urge you to ring the nurses on this website. They are very helpful and very knowledgeable about pancreatic cancer, far more than most GPs. And some kind of Macmillan nurse or hospice nurse would be a great help I am sure. We are thinking of you in the hard times ahead xxx

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I am so sorry to hear about your Dad. Contact his GP and ask some questions. It sounds like he is jaundiced and maybe he could have a stent. On a few occasions we have taken my Mum to A and E and they have dealt with her quicker than a GP!

You could phone the nurses on here who are very knowledgable and helpful.

I really hope you can find some answers for your Dad. Don't give up until you get the answers.

Take Care,

Sue x

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Thanks for the replies. After my perseverance of phoning and personally referring him to social care as he was not on their system, it seems we may be getting some help although some may it be too late. We have had a commode and mattress topper delivered. Also the district nurse has referred us to Macmillan as a family as my dad is still refusing to talk about anything which I completely understand.


The last two nights he has somehow got up out of bed and tried to get downstairs. This morning he told us he was going to work. He had also managed to find and put on some socks. Mum is worried incase he falls down the staircase as its steep. He's so unsteady on his feet. Are there any bed rails or other ways to help with this as he said he definitely does not want a hospital bed. Despite being disorientated and confused he is still able and adamant with his choices but he needs to be safe.


We have also asked about a carer coming in for a few hours to allow some respite for my mum as she is simply exhausted.

I know it's not going to be too long now which I can be relieved for him about. My dad is 70 but was working up until 2 weeks prior to his diagnosis. A true grafter and gentleman- not many like him left. Proud he belongs to us.


Sarah

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I think you can get all sorts of gadgets and fittings for the home. Hopefully the MacMillan people will come soon - I expect they can advise. Your dad certainly sounds like a fighter - I can understand how proud you are. I hope he carries on for as long as he is able to and maybe he'll get some help to make things easier. x

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Dear Sarah

Hello - I'm so sorry to read about your Dad.


As already said, yellowing of the eyes may indicate Jaundice.... Please phone and talk to the nurses on here as they will be able to help you and give invaluable support and advice.

Take care Xxx

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Sarah,

You have every right to be proud, your dad sounds like a lovely man, what a nightmare for you all, your poor mum must be worn out, lets hope someone can take over for a few hours so she can get some rest.

I am glad you are getting some help now and more should become available now you are in the "system". it must have been so scary for you all feeling abandoned, and good on you for your perseverance in getting things sorted. I just hope your dad becomes more settled in the next few days and that you can spend some quality time together. take care sandrax

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Just to let you know my dad passed away peacefully this morning. It was so not what I expected death to be as he was so peaceful and with all the people he loved at home. It's such a comfort to know we fulfilled his wishes to the very last moment.

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Sarah, I am sorry to hear the news but from your first post, it did seem that he had not long to go. I am glad that it was peaceful and that his loved ones were with him and that his wishes were fulfilled. all of that must be a comfort to you at this sad time. x

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Sarah, Sorry to hear you have lost your beloved dad but pleased you were all with him at the end and that it was so peaceful. At least he has no more suffering, please take care sandrax

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So sorry to hear you have lost your dear Dad Sarah. Glad though that it was a peaceful end.


Thinking of you.


Steve

X

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PCUK Nurse Jeni

Sarah,


On behalf of the nursing team here at PCUK, I would like to extend out heartfelt condolences to you and your family at the sad passing of your dad.


It sounds like his death was a peaceful one, which is positive, and even your memories of this are not traumatic.


Take care,


Jeni.

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