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sandraW
Posts: 990
Joined: Thu Oct 31, 2013 5:38 pm

Re: Stephen's Story

Postby sandraW » Tue Sep 12, 2017 9:05 am

Sandie, So sorry to hear Stephen is so poorly, you know we are all here for you and understand just what you are going through, not that that makes it any easier.
I am glad your son is able to be with you, you could do it alone, but its just so much easier when they are there with you.
I am sure Stephen does know you are there, he will sense you are there, just be there there is nothing else we can do. I hope he just goes to sleep with you holding his hand which is what happened to Trevor. sending you love and strength sandrax xx

Veema
Posts: 354
Joined: Mon Feb 02, 2015 5:35 pm

Re: Stephen's Story

Postby Veema » Tue Sep 12, 2017 4:02 pm

Oh Sandie, so sorry to read this.

I'd leave him where he is...he probably won't be very aware of his surroundings anyway and it's better for you in the long run. He sounds much like my Dad was at the end (he died 2 weeks ago if liver cancer).

Sending you huge virtual hugs...and hoping Stephen is comfortable and his remaining time is peaceful.

Much love and strength.

Vx

Wife&Mum
Posts: 360
Joined: Thu Dec 03, 2015 3:12 pm

Re: Stephen's Story

Postby Wife&Mum » Wed Sep 13, 2017 10:48 am

Dear Sandie
I was very sad to read your latest update and want you to know that you're very much in my thoughts.
Sending you my love and virtual hugs.
W&M

PCUK Nurse Jeni
Posts: 955
Joined: Mon Jun 14, 2010 12:30 pm

Re: Stephen's Story

Postby PCUK Nurse Jeni » Wed Sep 13, 2017 3:43 pm

Dear Sandie,

So sorry to hear about how unwell Stephen is.
You have been such a support to him and to others on this forum.

As others have said, just being there for him now is the important thing.

Veema, so sorry to hear about your dad also. We are sending our condolences to you and the family.

Jeni.
Jeni Jones
Pancreatic Cancer Specialist Nurse
Support Team
Pancreatic Cancer UK
email: nurse@pancreaticcancer.org.uk
support line: 0808 801 0707

Veema
Posts: 354
Joined: Mon Feb 02, 2015 5:35 pm

Re: Stephen's Story

Postby Veema » Thu Sep 14, 2017 7:14 pm

Thank you Jeni...it was a very quick 6 weeks from diagnosis to his death...such a shock for us all and so close to the anniversary of my Nige's death...its been a tough time.

Sandie...still thinking of you and hoping you're coping ok.

Vx

Sandiemac
Posts: 54
Joined: Tue May 10, 2016 10:27 am

Re: Stephen's Story

Postby Sandiemac » Fri Sep 15, 2017 10:44 am

He died at about 6.20pm yesterday.

The palliative care team had been wonderful and fast tracked him for hospice at home. A hospital bed had been delivered on Wednesday afternoon and oxygen machines all set up.
When we got to the hospital yesterday afternoon the pharmacist brought all the medicines
(which in my experience you have to hang around for), the release letter soon appeared,
the care team leader had been and done an assessment of his needs and so all that was
needed was for the care team to be allocated and the transport organised, so he was all due
to be at home by the latest at about 5 pm today.

His brother and sister-in-law visited yesterday afternoon and he was perfectly lucid but very uncomfortable and saying he wanted a bedpan and then not using it. He got very restless and
kept wanting to be moved about the bed because he was so uncomfortable. He was staring around with eyes wide open and the nurse said afterwards he knew what was happening but couldn't tell us.

The nurse came and gave him his usual evening medication and then he quietened down and we thought he would sleep. He got quieter and quieter and turned very pale and we then realised his breathing had stopped. It was very peaceful - we had pulled the curtains around his bed and me and our boys were all there. We stayed there for more than an hour in our own little bubble and said our final goodbyes. In the end it was all I could have wished for.

sandraW
Posts: 990
Joined: Thu Oct 31, 2013 5:38 pm

Re: Stephen's Story

Postby sandraW » Fri Sep 15, 2017 11:52 am

Sandie, I am so sorry, but glad it was peaceful and that you were all there with him, sending you a great big cyber (((hug))). The NHS can be wonderful when it really needs to be, sorry you couldn't get him home, but perhaps it was for the best. please take care love to you and the boys sandrax xx

Didge
Posts: 776
Joined: Sun Dec 29, 2013 10:35 am

Re: Stephen's Story

Postby Didge » Fri Sep 15, 2017 1:26 pm

Sorry to hear your news but glad it was peaceful. No more pain for Stephen. Thinking of you and your boys and sending you love. Xx

Wife&Mum
Posts: 360
Joined: Thu Dec 03, 2015 3:12 pm

Re: Stephen's Story

Postby Wife&Mum » Fri Sep 15, 2017 3:24 pm

Sending you my sincere condolences and love Sandie.

W&M xx

Veema
Posts: 354
Joined: Mon Feb 02, 2015 5:35 pm

Re: Stephen's Story

Postby Veema » Fri Sep 15, 2017 10:25 pm

So sorry Sandie.

Much love

Vx

Justamo
Posts: 364
Joined: Sun Sep 04, 2016 9:38 pm

Re: Stephen's Story

Postby Justamo » Sat Sep 16, 2017 9:38 am

Sandie, I'm so sorry. But I'm glad you and the family were with him and that you'll have the comfort of knowing that all was peaceful when he died. He's had a long struggle, and so have you.

There's a lovely bit of Spenser that sums it up : "Sleepe after toyle, port after stormie seas, Ease after warre, death after life does greatly please".

Much love
Mo

Proud Wife
Posts: 720
Joined: Sun Jan 17, 2016 9:28 am

Re: Stephen's Story

Postby Proud Wife » Sat Sep 16, 2017 11:08 am

I'm so so sorry Sandie.

No more suffering. Sleep tight Stephen xx

Marmalade
Posts: 18
Joined: Thu Jul 06, 2017 3:29 pm

Re: Stephen's Story

Postby Marmalade » Sat Sep 16, 2017 9:28 pm

Dearest Sandie,

I'm so very sorry to read that you and Stephen have been parted, I know it is that which is hell and to his release from suffering. You have been a wonderful wife and made this terrible burden bearable for him. I send you and your family love and prayers in your sad loss and joy for Stephen in his release. I hope that you will be able to feel a tiny bit of the love we all have for you through your grief and take a little comfort.

M xxxx

MaxineR
Posts: 7
Joined: Wed Aug 23, 2017 6:26 pm

Re: Stephen's Story

Postby MaxineR » Mon Sep 18, 2017 7:32 am

So sorry to read of your loss, my sincerest condolences
Maxine

Sandiemac
Posts: 54
Joined: Tue May 10, 2016 10:27 am

Re: Stephen's Story

Postby Sandiemac » Mon Sep 18, 2017 9:06 am

Thank you all. Because your comments come from personal knowledge they are all the more valuable to me.

Because we are a Jewish family the funeral was yesterday and the previous two days were spent scurrying around getting the paperwork etc. in place and contacting people so not much time for it all to sink in. There's also the fact that because he had spent weeks at a time in hospital during the course of this year I have had experience of an empty house. It's not empty at the moment as both my boys are still with me. One will come frequently from Surrey and the other one will go back to Portugal when both he and I are ready.

I am now about to talk to a travel agent about a holiday.