A forum for people to support each other after the loss of a loved one

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EmmaR
Posts: 197
Joined: Fri Sep 20, 2013 10:06 pm

Re: How are all your Ladies coping ?

Postby EmmaR » Sun Feb 02, 2014 10:44 pm

Oh girl's, ladies ,
Our ages are from 40 something to my age 70 ! but we all feel the same grief ,anger , empty house , not sleeping (drinking to much wine ) sad because of the terrible suffering our loved ones endured not good end to their life's my man couldn't stand couldn't open his eyes syringe drive attached but he lived for only 24 hours with it no conversation ones it was put in ... Arrrh everything still going around in my head you would think that at my age I would be more prepared for death but we both enjoyed life (felt we were only in our 50's )my Jon only felt unwell start of July stomach pain backache in August we were on the summit of Snowdon for my 70th birthday he played his last game of golf end of August diagnosed September ! November Gone ! scream ! and scream ! some more there I have said it as it was .

Love Emma xx

Bee
Posts: 219
Joined: Fri May 03, 2013 8:39 pm

Re: How are all your Ladies coping ?

Postby Bee » Sun Feb 02, 2014 11:40 pm

Hi, if it helps then say it!! Age doesn't matter in this, nothing makes it ok and nothing prepares you for it. There is no justification and no logic to it. But you are not alone, we are all walking your path.

Hugs

Bee xx

marie souter
Posts: 198
Joined: Thu May 30, 2013 6:58 pm

Re: How are all your Ladies coping ?

Postby marie souter » Mon Feb 03, 2014 10:34 am

yep I agree grief cares not our age .. am 46 myself and I can't imagine losing my mom in 25 years would make any difference to the pain I'm feeling...my mom lingered for 3 awful days as her heart was so strong .. and it was not nice as she aspirated ... that memory is still with me and I can't shake it .. the suffering, the anger at the misdiagnosis for 2 years just when my mom had gotten a semblance of independence .. so unfair .. my mom looking at me with that knowing look .. keep asking what the sound was in her throat .. knowing she had to know what it was OMG am joining you in a scream as well ... so angry at this loss of life everyones loss and seeing new people come on the site and you know what theyre gonna go through and in some respects you live it again everything flashes before your eyes ...
I actually got dressed today

hugz
marie

Helen_Catherine
Posts: 12
Joined: Tue Sep 10, 2013 1:01 pm

Re: How are all your Ladies coping ?

Postby Helen_Catherine » Wed Feb 12, 2014 6:49 pm

Hi all,

I am so sorry to hear since I last posted about my dad that so many of you have lost your loved ones. It so shocking how quickly this cancer takes people and I hope you all have the support you need from your family and friends.

My dads funeral went really well, the crematorium was full to bursting and many people appreciated my poem. I know he would have been proud but found it incredibly hard when the curtain closed. I kind of broke down. I have been managing though, I found out I was pregnant the day before my dads funeral which was a huge shock but it has gave my mam some hope and something to focus on. The hormones may make me slightly more unsettled at times and have my good days and bad days like most of you will. It still hasn't sunk in properly that he is gone but have a feeling he is looking down on us. I wish so badly I could have told him I was expecting before he passed away but I think he knows and is smiling down from heaven. We saw a huge rainbow as we were driving back home from the wake and again on the day I went to my first baby scan. My mam and I like to think its his way of showing he is there and is happy.

Do any of you dream about your loved ones that have past? I find I am constantly dreaming almost every night about my dad. In all of them he is still alive and some are like from before he was poorly and like he never got ill at all and in some he is poorly and has cancer again. Every time I wake up I feel upset that in my dream he is alive and then I go through the realisation he is gone. It could be due to the fact I am pregnant though as I heard you tend to have really vivid dreams.

Also I agree that no matter what your age I doubt very much you can get used to death or grief of this level. I am 28 and although I had never been through anything like this before I see how much my mam struggled with my dads illness and death. I doubt she will truly ever get over it but I know she will heal in time. You all sound like such strong ladies and it's nice to see how this forum can bring people together. Sometimes I feel very alone in that my husband and close friends can't really understand how I feel and that my dads death still really affects me some days. I know that unless you have had the misfortune to have experienced it then I guess you can never really understand.

Sending my love and condolences

Helen xxx

Bee
Posts: 219
Joined: Fri May 03, 2013 8:39 pm

Re: How are all your Ladies coping ?

Postby Bee » Wed Feb 12, 2014 10:28 pm

Hi,
Sorry to hear about your dad, sounds like you did him proud at the funeral. Lovely to hear of your pregnancy and as you say a positive focus.
In answer to your question about dreams, I don't yet dream about chris , I dream about the situation and the fact he isn't here, but I would like to dream about him to see him alive and hear him talk. I see it as positive that you dream about your dad, although you have the realisation he has gone when you wake. I wake and still it hits me that he isn't next to me so I don't think that bit can be avoided.
Take care

Bee xx